Mei Yui Mei – “Tsurezure’s scream is still alive” (July 2021)
– How do you feel now that you have completed your first tour with the group, the “re:voke tour for 47?”
I joined the group in the middle of the tour – before that I was busy with Yukueshirezutsurezure activities, so I only started participating in Zenbu Kimi no Sei da trainings after we finished “Tsurezure.” So there was a lot to do until the very end of the tour (laughs).
– On January 2, 2021, you had your last concert with Yukueshirezutsurezure, and on January 11, you already joined “Zenkimi.”
Yes. At first, Kotetsu and I thought we’d join somewhere near the end of the tour. But on January 11th, we were already on the same stage with them (laughs). I was desperately trying to memorize my parts and dances. Never before had I felt time go by so fast, it was hectic.
– After all, Yukueshirezutsurezure disbanded just a few days ago. When was it decided that you would join the tour at this point?
When we decided to join “Zenkimi,” we had a conversation with Omegu and the director about when exactly we would join the group. There was a possibility of joining the group at the end of the tour, but it was decided that an important date like Omegu’s birthday would be the most appropriate. As far as I remember, it was decided almost immediately.
– So you had to somehow switch from your past activities in Yukueshirezutsurezure to your new activities in Zenbu Kimi no Sei da.
Yes. Because while I was in “Tsurezure,” I could only think about “Tsurezure,” otherwise it would have been wrong to our fans and other members, and I was determined to end the group the way it was meant to be.
– It’s been about three years since you joined codomomental. What motivated you to start this activity in the first place?
Thanks to my parents’ influence, I loved music since I was a kid, but I never wanted to be an idol. I liked bands, and I wanted to sing, so I joined a light music club in school, playing guitar and singing. And then I found a certain idol group. I had imagined idols to be cute girls with perfect faces and everything, and the way these cute girls were so desperate to perform, not caring what their faces looked like, really impressed me. They were completely different from the image I had of idols before, and I thought it was amazing. However, I still didn’t want to be an idol and didn’t think I was capable of it. The audition for Yukueshirezutsurezure was found by my mother.
– That’s how it was.
And that’s when I saw the music and the live videos of “Tsurezure.” I always loved rock and I thought they were so cool – they weren’t perceived as idols at all. To me, they were more like artists or a band. And then I thought that’s what I wanted to do and that’s why I joined the group.
– So you played an instrument and you were in a school band before and you made it clear that you wanted to do music.
Yeah, I used to sing and play guitar at times.
– It’s funny that the audition your mom found for you was the one for Yukueshirezurezurezurezure.
Mom liked the costumes that were worn in codomomental (laughs). Like, look how cute the costumes are. I think that’s how she found them.
– And which bands did you listen to?
I listened to a lot of different genres, but the ones I’ve always listened to since I was a kid are X-JAPAN, HIDE and for example REBECCA. I hardly listened to J-POP and other music that kids my age listened to. It was hard to find common topics of conversation with my friends. But I was always afraid of being disliked by others, so I tried very hard to listen to music that my peers liked. But it was too out of my taste (laughs).
– Surely everyone was surprised. Everyone knew that you liked bands and wanted to sing, but that you would join an idol group?
Yes, I surprised everyone enough. Even my old friends knew that I was always a bit different from other people and they could imagine that I would probably do something like this, but they obviously didn’t think it would have anything to do with idols. They were really surprised at first – they couldn’t imagine me in some kind of frilly dress. And my mom was also worried because I was practically a shut-in – like, would I be able to go out and talk to people and spend a lot of time with them and perform in front of anyone. But she said since I wanted to sing, I should give it a try.
– So much of your time was spent alone.
Even though I was lonely, I think I liked being alone. Although of course I wanted to be around people I felt comfortable with. But other than that, I just sat at home and played games and watched anime and listened to music.
– And then suddenly you’re on stage singing and dancing.
And for example, I have to talk to our fans a lot. And I was very confused – I didn’t know what to talk to them about. But I don’t know, maybe I had some self-confidence in me, but at the first concert I wasn’t really worried. The hardest part was talking to the people (laughs). And at first I was really surprised why people were so supportive because they didn’t know anything about me.
– And about a year after you joined “Tsurezure,“ you became the leader of the group (laughs). Why do you think you were given the role of leader?
At first, I was just desperately trying to keep up with the others. It wasn’t until Tsuyame left that I became fully aware of myself as a member of the group. From then on, I began to think about the group, our teamwork, and what I could do for “Tsurezure.” I don’t know why I was chosen to be the leader, but Komachi was the person who supported the leader.
– So that was partly due to circumstances.
Yes, I think it was. The director said: “From now on, Mei will be the leader of Yukueshirezutsurezurezurezure.” He said that out of the blue in the club’s dressing room. At first, Komachi and I thought that Shida-chan’s departure might be the end of the group. And I hadn’t expected such a turnaround. But I agreed right away. And as a leader, I started to think about things I hadn’t thought about before, and things I couldn’t think about before. I think I changed.
– At that time, the old members were leaving the group and new members were joining. So you became responsible for getting the group back on its feet.
When I became the leader, Kotetsu and Takara had just joined the group. Of the four of us, two were new, so we hadn’t had time to get used to each other. So I decided that I had to become friends with them first. It’s hard for me to start conversations, but then I tried very hard to connect with them. Because if you don’t trust your partner, you can’t make good concerts. And it wasn’t easy for the first six months, but surprisingly I liked doing leadership.
– Like, “Maybe it suits me?”
Oh no, I didn’t think so (laughs). I am basically a pessimistic person, and whenever something went wrong, I always thought it was because I was a leader. Like, nothing’s really going right for me. But in those moments, Komachi always sensitively gave me a hand. And I managed somehow.
– And what was Kotetsu-san like during that time?
Kotetsu and Takara joined “Tsurezure” at the same time, and not that they were friends only with each other, but it was obvious that they had fun together. And Kote-chan, she doesn’t know how to feel the mood at all (laughs). But not in the sense that she’s annoying, rather she changes the mood naturally. And in those moments when I was annoyed or upset, the others would just leave me alone. Kote-chan was the only one who didn’t feel that mood and would come up and talk to me as if nothing had happened, but she cheered me up and healed my soul.
– That means she helped you a lot.
That’s her inability to feel the mood in a good way. She does the same thing with Omegu now – when everyone else decides to leave her alone, only Kote-chan goes and sits on her lap.
– (laughs).
She doesn’t give in to anything, she’s just amazing (laughs). I was a little worried at first, but I don’t have any weird worries anymore. Kote-chan has always softened the mood, whether in “Tsurezure” or now in “Zenkimi.”
– So she’s kind of a mascot character. And you, on the other hand, are the kind of person who tends to worry and keep things to yourself?
When I start worrying about something, I just can’t stop, and sometimes I feel so terrible that it feels like I’ve hit rock bottom. But Kotetsu is also incredibly positive. By the way, we live together now…
– Really, two opposites?
Yes. For example, when I’m upset about something related to our activities, Kote-chan is always so incredibly positive, so I don’t get upset so much. When I’m around her, I think, “Kote-chan is so cheerful, so everything’s okay.” That’s how she helps me so much.
– Let’s go back a little bit: how did you feel when it all came to the disbanding of Yukueshirezutsurezure?
A year ago, in the spring of 2020, I didn’t think we could disband. I knew that Komachi had been uneasy all along. But after she took a break, she came back, and I thought she’d probably be able to continue somehow. But apparently she couldn’t, apparently she was getting too hard. We talked to the others and decided that the four of us are the coolest – we trust and respect each other so much that it’s unbelievable. So we decided to end Yukueshirezutsurezure with the four of us. Of course it’s very sad, I love “Tsurezure” very much and I was very sad that I wouldn’t be able to perform those songs anymore. But the four of us were definitely the best. So my feelings shifted more to the fact that it was good that we could end the group on such an excellent note. And I was able to deal with my feelings.
– So you wanted to end the group in a nice way, with all four of you. And when was it decided that you would join “Zenkimi?”
When we decided to dissolve “Tsurezure” and I told the director, he asked me what I wanted to do next. We could continue Yukueshirezutsurezure together with Kotetsu, or we could form a new group. The director also said that my scream was really unique and that I should join “Zenkimi” and aim for bigger stages. From then on, Kotetsu and I talked every day. We wanted to end Yukueshirezutsurezure with the four of us, so we had no choice of continuing “Tsurezure.” We thought about forming a new group, but then we’d have to start from scratch. From my experience as a leader, I knew that it would have taken a year or two to stabilize the group. And not that I was pressed for time, but when I thought about it, I realized that it was hard.
– I see.
And “Zenkimi” were always outstanding, they were the most influential group in codomomental, they performed on big stages and I always went to all their important big concerts. We were in the same agency, but it didn’t feel like we were in the same league. And they had very different songs from “Tsurezure.” But I was always following their amazing silhouettes and trying to keep up with them. And I thought that if I joined them, I could definitely grow even more, and I would never have a chance to loaf around.
The cool Mei Yui Mei that “Tsurezure” had raised in me wasn’t going anywhere
– Did Kotetsu-san feel the same way?
Both Kotetsu and I still wanted to continue performing. Maybe it was selfish of us, but we wanted to end “Tsurezure” on a good note, but we still wanted to conquer big stages, we still wanted to perform abroad again – we still had regrets. And at first Kotetsu said that she wanted to stop her activities after the dissolution of “Tsurezure.” But then she started looking for other auditions and stuff (laughs). And I was like, “So you regret it, right?” Like, “I still want to perform too, let’s think about it together.” And the director also said that even though “Tsurezure” dissolved, it definitely made sense for us to stay together. So I wasn’t going to go separate ways with Kote-chan.
– Was there anything that made you feel like you were on the same page?
I never thought we were on the same page (laughs). I think in school we would definitely end up in different groups. But when we talked about it, I realized that Kotetsu takes everything very seriously. Also, I knew how much she had grown since Kaqriyo Terror Architect. There were a lot of things about her that I respected. And I thought I wanted to continue working with her.
– Now there are some former “Tsurezure” fans among your fans, right?
Yes. At first, of course, it was hard for the fans to deal with their feelings, and many said that they came to our concert just to see Mei Yui Mei from “Tsurezure.” But there were also those who came to our concert with no expectations, as if saying, “Well, let’s go and look at cute Mei – let’s go and have one last look at her.” But when they came to our show at least once, they saw that the “Tsurezure” scream was still with me, that it was still alive. And many said they liked it and were interested in seeing a different, cute side of me that they hadn’t seen before. And they promised to come again. I was very pleased. There are still people who can’t deal with their feelings, but for me, I haven’t changed a bit. I firmly believe that the cool Mei Yui Mei that “Tsurezure” raised in me hasn’t gone anywhere. So I want you to come and see it with your own eyes.
– And that coolness of yours is clearly put to good use in “Zenkimi.“ At the end of the tour, I was impressed by how cool the harsh vocal parts led by you and Kotetsu-san sounded, and how the others joined in to create a very dense sound. It was very powerful.
When I heard the others screaming in “dada” – our first single with the new lineup – I looked down on them a bit because they still had a lot of work to do (laughs). After all, “Tsurezure” was a group that specialized in harsh vocals. And I thought that they still have to grow and grow in terms of screaming. But at the end of the tour it was clear that everyone was trying to keep up with us in terms of harsh vocals. And if you compare it with the scream I heard from them at the beginning, it was like there were different people in front of me. Still, everybody hates to lose so much. I think we’re a really great group. Lately I made sure that we were meant to come together.
– I think the “Zenkimi” fans have noticed this as well.
After the tour finale, some people said that at first they couldn’t accept that Kotetsu and I had joined the group, but our performance at the finale was so cool, and everything just shone with the charm that only the seven of us could create. And I was really happy.
– You had such a full time with each other in such a short time. I also want to ask you about the other members – what did you think of Megumi-san?
She’s always been an outstanding leader to me. So much so that when it was decided that I would become the leader of “Tsurezure,” the first thing I thought was, “Can I be a leader like Megumi-san?” She is very focused and always puts everyone else first, but not herself. You could say she thinks of the other members first and herself last. I wish I could have helped her more, shared what she was taking on. I was amazed at how much she thinks of others. I think of her as this strong person, but at the same time she is very sensitive, she can have a hard time too. But still, she’s unwavering in her determination to lead “Zenkimi” to bigger stages and keep the group going until the end, and that’s really incredibly cool.” She’s always been an outstanding leader to me. So much so that when it was decided that I would become the leader of “Tsurezure,” the first thing I thought was, “Can I be a leader like Megumi-san?” She is very focused and always puts everyone else first, but not herself. You could say she thinks of the other members first and herself last. I wish I could have helped her more, shared what she was taking on. I was amazed at how much she thinks of others. I think of her as this strong person, but at the same time she is very sensitive, she can have a hard time too. But still, she’s unwavering in her determination to lead “Zenkimi” to bigger stages and keep the group going until the end, and that’s really incredibly cool.
That’s what Zenbu Kimi no Sei da is all about – a group that is not limited by any genre
– And what would you say about Oyatsu-san?
Oyatsu is funny (laughs). At first she seemed so cute and fluffy to me. But after I joined the group, it turned out that there was something of a middle-aged man about her (laughs). Surprisingly, we were shy of each other at first, so she didn’t immediately show herself for who she is, but as we spent more and more time together, she started to show herself more and more. Oyatsu and Amanechi often make fun of my face. But Oyatsu sometimes makes faces that clearly don’t lose to mine. In that sense, we’re like friends exchanging jokes – that’s the feeling Oyatsu leaves behind. When Oyatsu is around, you just want to talk to her. Oyatsu is very honest, and if she suddenly feels bad, it comes out right away. And I like how understandable and cute she is.
– And what do you think about Amanechi-san?
Amanechi is kind of a bundle of aspirations. She doesn’t like to lose, and just like Oyatsu, she has everything written all over her face. She’s honest and understandable. But she’s known the group for a long time, and since she became a member herself, she has very high ideals towards “Zenkimi.” And she’s very eager to keep up with them, that’s how diligent she is. It was Amanechi who, in the beginning, especially tried not to lose to me in terms of screaming and tried very hard. That’s why I think the moments when we do harsh vocals together are the most powerful (laughs).
– That’s something to pay attention to at concerts.
Yeah, I want everyone to see that. I think Amanechi is honest enough in expressing her feelings. And she clearly wants to be spoiled, but she also has such a temperament that she can’t allow herself to be spoiled. And even though she seems pretentious in her words, she still doesn’t mind when Megumi lets her lie on her lap. Watching her poke Kasane to get her attention makes you smile (laughs). She’s honest, but showing off at the same time. Just like a kid. And I love how it all comes together in her.
– I see the new members are showing their personalities more and more (laughs). And what would you say about Kasane-san?
Kasane, if you compare her to someone from “Tsurezure,” is someone like Takara – she is quite a rascal, and even in the performances she is the toughest. But once I talked to her, I found that she’s the kind of person I could call my friend the most. She is very easy to talk to. And we quickly opened up to each other and you can feel that she has a similar atmosphere. I think we’re very similar. And also she’s a very good singer. And I always wanted to sing with her in one of our songs. She’s a good singer and she did some dancing before so she dances well and her face is so pretty. She’s perfect! You think about it and then you see her face with food around her mouth when she’s eating (laughs). So there she is eating and getting food all over her cheeks and other places where it shouldn’t get (laughs).
– What would you say about Fufu-san?
Fufu has a unique atmosphere unlike anyone else, she’s a very free-spirited person. She has a mind of her own and doesn’t care much about the people around her. Even when she’s busy, she’s very appreciative of her own time. But she was the first person to call me “Mei” and take me by the hand after I joined “Zenkimi.” She’s very friendly – she seems to like cats, but she’s more of a dog herself (laughs). And that unique vibe of hers is kind of what makes her interesting (laughs). She’s so unique, but at the same time she has a nice face, and there’s something about her that I can’t quite figure out, and that makes her interesting. I really want to learn more about her. I think that’s what our fans think too. There’s something about her that makes her different from ordinary people, so I’d like to be reincarnated as Fufu. Probably the one I’d most like to experience out of the whole group is Fufu.
– Are you interested in seeing the world through her eyes?
Yes, I’d like to get inside her head. I wonder how she sees the world. She doesn’t seem very interested in what’s around her, but apparently everything looks incredibly beautiful in her eyes. Fufu draws very beautiful pictures.
– Is there anything that has changed about Kotetsu-san since she joined “Zenkimi?“
I said before that Kotetsu doesn’t know how to feel the mood, but in “Zenkimi” Oyatsu may have a much bigger problem with that. I used to point out to her that she had no sense of mood, but now, after she joined “Zenkimi,” she suddenly met someone who was even worse at it than she was (laughs). And apparently she’s realized what it’s like not to be able to feel the mood, and she’s become incredibly sensitive lately. But even though she’s fixed the bad side of not being able to feel the mood, the good side, when she softens the mood in moments when it gets a little tense, is alive and well (laughs).
– There’s probably some unique flair about her.
Yeah, I think there’s something about her. Also, Kotetsu, like Fufu, isn’t interested in people. Even though we live together, there are times when I feel like she’s not interested in me at all (laughs). But since she joined “Zenkimi,” I feel that she has started to realize that she should start to be interested in people. It’s still a long way to go, though (laughs). Also, Kotetsu, like me, couldn’t show her negative emotions before. But since she joined “Zenkimi,” where everyone in the group lets their emotions out, you can see that Kotetsu is also trying to let out whatever she is thinking and feeling. And I started to notice that it turns out that Kote-chan can have those emotions too, it turns out that Kotie-chan can get angry too, so to speak, since she joined “Zenkimi,” she’s become very emotional. I think her expressiveness has really increased.
– Are you starting to express those feelings too?
I think I’m getting better at it now than I was before, but if you compare it to other people, it’s nowhere near as good. I’m still afraid of being disliked and I’m worried about what other people will think. I don’t feel like I’ve changed at all in that regard. I’ve been like this since school, and even though I’ve had the occasional outburst, I think even then I held myself back from worrying about what people around me would think. I myself think that sometimes it might be okay to blow up and say everything you want to say, but usually it just ends up in sobs (laughs). But I feel like I’m able to change that side of me as well.
– You’re all different in a good way, and in this relationship within the group, when you bring out the best in each other, that’s “Zenkimi,” isn’t it?
Yeah, we’re all very different and I don’t think we’d get along anywhere else. But at the shows we really connect and there’s a close bond between us. And that’s interesting. You realize: this is Zenbu Kimi no Sei da. Before, when I was looking at the group from the outside, it always struck me how, even though they were so different, they were firmly bound together by the same will during the performances, and I think I finally realized it. This is what Zenbu Kimi no Sei da is all about – a group that is not limited by any genre. It’s really great.